So last week I got all gussied up, hopped on the MegaBus to Chicago and went on what I was expecting to be the greatest first date ever. Of course reality decided to be everyone’s favorite bitch and slapped me in the face. The manchild I had started to like, even enough to consider holding his hand, told me that my Crazy and Level of Hotness just didn’t match up. WTF, right?
After a few Greyhounds, some intense fitting room therapy (where I of course bought nothing), and a plate of french fries, I but my heiny on the MegaBus back to Iowa. After 24 hours of beating myself up, in which I considered chopping off all my hair and becoming a lesbian, I realized that I probably shouldn’t give a rats ass what a manchild who gets his ideas of how females should behave from CBS a second thought. In fact, maybe I needed to keep some time off from giving any and all males a second thought.
So that’s when I decided to take the rest of the year and just focus on me. Focus on making my eating habits better, actually work out daily, spend more time cuddling with my dog, maybe read a few self help books, as well as the pile of magazines I have sitting by my bed. Not to mention all the Pinterest recipes and crafts I’ve been itching to do and my desperation to dress up for me, and not some boy.
So here I am, getting ready to reinvent myself. Make Meredith the greatest girl she can be; with the help of workout videos, my stylist, Patti Stanger and Emily Post, and of course, Scotti the dog.
Please, sit back, relax, and enjoy watching me tackle my harshest critic. Meredith Hope. She’s a crazy bitch, but at least she’s fuckin adorable.
Love you,mean it!